Can One Moment Change Your Life Forever?

The moment I knew it was over …

I can’t recall the exact date when it hit me but I can tell you I remember that moment vividly. I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling of this room where yelling and screaming is trapped into its walls. It’s a quiet and eerie feeling yet I can hear voices in my head. I hear my shouting. I hear my crying. I hear my fast heart beating. I feel the pain in my heart. I fear for my safety. And I can see him in front of me even when he is not there. I can feel his energy. I can hear his nasty words. I feel his anger. I hide under the cover as if to protect me. The voices are still there. There is no running away. There is no pretending it’s okay. It isn’t. It never was. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. I’m truly done. I know I said those words before. This time it feels different. This time. I mean it.

With tears flowing down my eyes wetting my hairline dripping into my ears, I am confronted that I’m living in a nightmare. An overwhelming feeling that a day will soon come when I will wake up and not be here anymore.

That day will come. I promised myself. That day when I will no longer feel this pain. One day I will find myself again. The me I started to lose. I was aware what was happening to me. I could see it. Why did it take so long to get here? Why did I allow this to go on for so long.? I should know better. What was I thinking?

Well, I wasn’t thinking straight that’s for sure. My judgment has been clouded. I’ve been stuck in this trap that I allowed myself to be in. And now it’s time I get out. I didn’t know how I was going to get myself out of this mess. But I trusted in ME. I knew that when I put my mind to something I will get it done. I may not have all the answers, the whens and hows. I just knew that one day I will not be laying in this bed anymore thinking these thoughts, feeling these feelings or crying these tears. That day will come soon. I knew it.

All it took was a moment. A moment when I was honest with myself. A moment where time stood still and it was me myself and I. There is only truth. No influences. No distractions. No doubts. It was a moment of strength and resilience. A moment of determination. A moment of faith and hope. A moment where I touched the rope, held on tight and started pulling. It was the rope to get my power back. Every decision I took from that moment on was another pull on that rope. Every thought I had was inspired and guided.

You see, I knew I couldn’t do this alone. I needed divine intervention. I asked for it. I knew in my heart I was not alone every step of the way. And sure enough, the events that unfolded - that led to my freedom from this cage is nothing short of a miracle.

I did it. Weeks later I found myself living another moment - a surreal moment of self-reflection. I was now laying in another bed staring at a different ceiling with tears flowing down the side of my face. This time - these tears were different. They were tears of relief. Tears of triumph. Tears of conquering my fears and overcoming the many challenges I had to face in the last weeks, days and hours. I did it. Yes. I did. I put my mind to it. I knew I could be free and live the life I truly deserved.

A life with dignity. A life with respect. A life with choice. A life with peace. A life where I can finally breathe.

This was the beginning of a fresh start. Even though I knew the war wasn’t over. The next phase was going to be a tough one - I was mentally prepared. This was all part of the seperation process from an abusive relationship. My freedom wasn’t going to be without a cost. The cost would be a mental and emotional battle - that I was DETERMINED to conquer.

Naturally, the Hoover phase, followed just as I anticipated. I could predict his next moves. By now, I had beome accustomed to his methods and I knew he would stop at nothing to try to reach me. I knew he had no respect to my boundaries. I knew his words of Goodbye and well wishes were all part of the mask and game he played. Even if he wasn’t aware about the psychological games he was playing - he was playing them unconsciously as it had become part of his make up. It’s who he is at the core and how he operates. It’s his default operating system. It takes someone with awareness to identify this system including any malware and malfunction.

I studied him very well over the last months. While he was abusing, attempting to assert his control over me, attempting to isolate me and have me question my independence, abilities and self-worth - while he was strategic with his lovebombing and gaslighting, his fake attempts to “get better” and be a “better partner” - I was watching. I was taking notes. And I planned my exit, executed it and walked awayed unharmed. Nonetheless, I didn’t escape without damages. I had to start my life over - not just physically but emotionally and mentally. The road was not going to be easy - I was honest with myself from the beginning. I knew he would not give up easily and accept defeat. I knew I needed to take drastic measures to protect myself. And I did.

Some call it paranoia and extreme measures. Let them call it as they may. It was I who lived this nightmare and it is I who got myself out and it would be I deciding how far to go to keep myself out. That’s the only thing that mattered. Preserving the effect of that one moment in time that took place in a bed I no longer wanted to sleep in.

Here I am telling the story of how it all changed. My life changed just in one moment.

One decision.

One moment of trusting and asking for help.

That moment I will never forget.

If this article resonated with you in any way …

… if it helped you see something more clearly, feel validated in your experience, or nudged you into honest self-reflection … know this: you don’t have to do this inner work alone.

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